Determining our purpose in life can be one of the most daunting and complicated questions humans try to answer. There is no right or wrong way to determine this; it usually comes with a lot of trial and error. Sometimes, you need a guide to get you going, so let’s look at a step-by-step process exploring your feelings and options. By the end, you should have a reasonably solid tool to employ in helping to give you meaningful direction immediately!

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Is it time to get out of your comfort zone?

Comfort zones are great. They're familiar, secure places where we feel at home and comfortable. But sometimes, it's time to get out of your comfort zone and experience something new. Here are some common reasons people stay in their comfort zones:

You've always done it that way.

It's easy to get stuck in your comfort zone. After all, why would you want to leave when you're comfortable and not being challenged? But if you always stay in your comfort zone, how can anything change? If there is no change in your life, nothing will grow or improve--and ultimately, this means stagnation and mediocrity at best. Who wants that? Challenge your status quo!

I get in moods where I just want to get rid of all the extra things and stuff I have accumulated. I feel the weight of all the excess, and I want to simplify, clear out, and clean out. I moved to North Carolina just over 4 years ago. Preparing for that move meant getting rid of a lot. I only took with me what would fit in my Trailblazer.

Since that move from Nebraska to North Carolina, I've moved a total of nine times! Yes, nine. There was no intention of moving after that initial move, but life happens and circumstances change.

I just passed the year mark of living at my current place. A year! It is the longest I have lived in one place during the last four years.

Writing a book has always been a goal of mine. I didn’t necessarily decide one day that I wanted to write a book, but it was more of a feeling, a knowing – I felt that someday my experiences would help others as they go through similar situations. I don’t recall when this feeling first surfaced, but if I had to guess, I would say probably in my early thirties. That feeling has stayed with me, and I’ve never brushed it off as a pipe dream or fantasy; I knew it would happen someday. When and about what were the only unknowns.

I’ve had a file on my computer named ‘book’ for many years where I would keep different things I had written over the years, not necessarily written to be used as part of a book but written for other purposes. I would go through those files every once in a while, but they were random, and nothing made sense to come together as a book. Nonetheless, I was never discouraged and knew that someday, something would spark.

We all have an ideal version of ourselves that we aspire to be. Maybe you want to be thinner, richer, or more successful. Or, maybe you just want to be happier and more fulfilled. Whatever it is, there's often a disconnect between who we are and who we want to be. This gap is what psychologist Dan McAdams calls "the authentic self." So, what exactly is the authentic self, and why is it important?

Keep reading to find out.

What Is the Authentic Self?

The authentic self is your true identity—who you are at your core. It includes your values, beliefs, and motivations. Importantly, it's also dynamic, which means it can change over time as you grow and evolve. Unfortunately, many of us never take the time to get in touch with our authentic selves. We allow our lives to be controlled by outside forces like our jobs, families, and society. As a result, we end up living inauthentic lives that aren't aligned with our true desires and passions.